10. Cancer Diaries - Show and Tell

I know what you're thinking, you wait a few weeks for the next blog and then 2 turn up in close proximity. I had to get the previous one published to tell you all the fun things I had been doing before I could get onto this one. My blogs are literally queuing up in my mind on what I want to write next. Busy brain. 

Let's get on with this one and what I have to share with you today. In the world of projects the concept of a show and tell is as it suggests, you stop and show and talk about what you have been doing. This can be helpful in a project to understand what progress has been made and what rest needs to be done, or changed to ensure a successful delivery.

Now let's convert that to my current Chemo treatment. I have now completed 4 out of the 16 Chemo sessions. (I know, 16 - seems like so many - ugh!) These first 4 were a two drug combination administered every 2 weeks to me. These were considered the tough ones to get through. 

Remember, if you have been following along, that I really didn't want to do Chemo. For me, Chemo did not have a good reputation. Frankly ask anyone who has experienced it and they are not going to be singing it's praises. You could just imagine its NPS score; 0/10 - would not recommend. 

So far I consider myself to be pretty lucky with my Chemo experience. It helped a lot that I was a healthy and happy person before I started and these aspects are were important when taking on such a task. So let's take a moment to reflect on how things have been going for this first phase.

My main side affects from the drugs have been overwhelming tiredness. I exist in a permanent jetlag fug, some days better than others and I do try to push through it, but it's there as a baseline. I think I will have this fug feeling for the rest of the year. I can sit at my desk and work through quite productively but deep thinking or tight, pressured deadlines are a challenge. I'm not as sharp at driving as I normally am which means I can't quite push the cars as I'd like. I have to pace myself, I can't do super late nights on the bounce. I don't have my normal Tigger energy levels. 

Next are the physical changes and for a female it's hair. I've lost a lot and also cut more away so that the continued moulting isn't so impactful. I'm not a fan of hairy shoulders. I am told that when I switch to the next treatment that it shouldn't hit the hair so I'm looking forward to it starting to grow back. I'll be rocking a cropped hair do as soon as.

Of course other hair has also wandered off. My eyebrows and eyelashes are thinner and I noticed that my right side of my face is more affected as this is the side I sleep on. Although, having silk pillowcases really are helping to reduce the damage to my hair. Top hair care tip right there! I have a runny nose as my nose hairs have decreased, I am constantly having to blow it. I'm such a catch! But, I'm am enjoying not having to worry about lady grooming! Small wins. 

My mouth feels kacky. Water doesn't quench my thirst like it used to. I need to experiment with flavours; squashes, juices, teas and regular teeth brushing to make it feel a happier place. My alcohol intake is massively reduced. My body can't handle it, understandably it's too busy handling other toxins to want to add much more to the mix. 

My right arm aches. I have achy veins where the chemicals in the Chemo are not playing nicely. It's reduced the strength in my arm. It's all temporary and the aching has reduced over the past few weeks. In the meantime I have switched arms to have my treatment injected into. At least it's not a life threatening clot. 

I have maintained a healthy appetite which has kept both my strength up and spirits too. I've not been sick and only had temporary loss of appetite, mainly straight after each Chemo session. I've reduced a bit of weight (I'd actually be happy to drop some more kilos - but what woman wouldn't say that) but let's see how that goes. 

Before each next Chemo treatment I have a meeting with my Mixologist (Oncologist) to see how I coped with the previous treatment and how if I'm ready to take on the next one. He also has a prod of my boobs to check on proceedings, seeing as I have now donated them to medical science it would seem. Just before my second treatment my lump had become softer, and before the third, my Oncologist suggested that the lump now felt like normal breast tissue. We could tell that the Chemo was making an impact.

In more scientific medical terms after the first 4 treatments the team likes to pause and have a MRI to review the situation. I duly had my MRI and got my results last week. We sat in the Oncologists office and was told that the MRI results came back normal. 

Normal; let me translate that for you. The known cancer in my breast and lymph nodes has gone. 4 Chemo treatments has killed off the cancer. Already, job done.

I was a bit emotional about that news and did shed a few tears. I can't believe that something so aggressive has already been beaten and so quickly. I was so worried about Chemo and how it was going to affect me, potentially have the side affects put my life at risk but actually it's done the job it needed to do and I'm still here and in reasonable condition. 

Obviously I did ask the Oncologist if I could stop the rest of the treatment and call it a day, but sadly no. Funny, he did respond saying that he thought I would ask this. Maybe it had something to do with my life spreadsheet. I have to continue and complete all my 16 Chemo sessions. This new drug will tackle any remaining cancer cells in a slightly different way too. Also, the MRI only confirms the known cancer and there still could be cancer cells wandering about my body that the rest of the treatment will help to kill off. 

My care plan is a belt and braces policy. Don't forget I still have surgery, radiotherapy and drugs to go after this. I am getting all the treatment to ensure this doesn't come back in the future. I also had confirmed that this cancer is known as a sporadic one. There is no genetic link, no good reason for it to turn up (like there is ever a good reason). It was a spontaneous cancer. As if I was ever good with spontaneity in the first place!

Well cancer, to remind you of my sentiment. You can fuck off, and when you get there, you can fuck off some more. You may have invaded my body but you will never invade my mind. Be off with you, I have better things to do with my life.