Diary of a Saasy Girl

With all successful projects good communication is the glue so I took this attitude towards my own cancer diagnosis and and subsequent treatment.  I felt distracted immediately upon the discovery of the lump, and well before I had it confirmed as cancer and so I knew that I had to confess to a small group of people that I interacted with regularly that something was amiss with me. I kept that group a select number of individuals. It started with 2 people at work, my boss and a female colleague who I was working closely on a project with. Both were fantastic and supportive from the start. Together we made sure that business ran as usual and the client wasn't affected, putting into plan any backups to cover project stages or ad-hoc requests should the need arise.  The next 2 groups that I shared the early information with was the London Admins and the London's Calling teams. Both are connected to the Salesforce Community if you're not familiar with my current lifestyle. Break...

How does someone prepare for their first Chemo? For me, the day before I took my client for lunch and enjoyed roast chicken and frites, and a chocolate fondant pudding and the most marvelous glass of Laurent Perrier Champagne. I'm going to dine out on that champagne memory for a while...I was good though and only had one glass as I felt it was not wise to turn up to Chemo with a raging hangover.  Wednesday. My new non favourite day of the week. Wednesday will hence forth be know as Chemo day. The day finally arrived to start my cancer treatment, the build phase of this cancer project. Piers and I duly turned up at the Private Hospital Chemo suite to be greeted by the lovely staff.  There is no joy in the process, only huge waves of anxiety of the prospect of being injected with poison and the staff know this and were well prepared to take us Chemo novices through the day. We had also prepared ourselves prior to arrival. Upon some advice we brought a load of stuff with us for t...

If you remember, the last thing I wanted to happen was have chemo. Chemo is the thing I am most scared about in this whole process. It's toxic and utterly consuming.  As a side point, I had been managing to sleep reasonably well. I had been focussing on the present and quietly talking to myself by saying, "there is no chemo here, you are in bed and all is ok, there is nothing to fear here, so sleep". Basic techniques to keep me centred throughout the day too, being as mindful as I could at work, concentrate on the task and then get absorbed in a TV programme or be social in the evening.  But it was now time to meet my Oncologist and this was the conversation I most dreaded. This conversation would bring home the dark reality of the situation. Time to put on the big girl pants and face the music.  It's not often you feel sorry for someone's job but no one ever wants to meet the Oncologist, or wants to sit in their office, ever. Their news rarely brings joy. It'...

The following week, after the first meeting my surgeon, I book myself in for a range of tests. These are to fully assess the situation so the medical team know what they are dealing with. My first test is to take blood. For this simple procedure alone I am grateful for Private Health. The beloved NHS is on its knees and trying to get a blood test is a struggle, let alone any other treatment. 4 vials were taken of my blood and duly tested. Having been a regular blood donor in the past this is not a difficult task for me, but I still won't look at the needle going into my arm.  The results from the blood work show that I am in good health, all be it, with cancer. I don't have diabetes and my vitamin D level is spot on. It would seem that vitamin D is the darling of the vitamins currently, having been heavily promoted during the pandemic days but it also provides benefits for cancer patients too.  The next test was to have a PET-CT scan. This is done to identify if the caner has ...

Less than a week after my formal diagnosis and my details have been moved into the Private sector and I have my first meeting with the surgeon. The surgeon acts as the project lead. He takes a holistic view of my care and mobilises the team around me to ensure I get the correct attention and treatment that I need.  If the diagnosis wasn't enough of a reality check, then this brought home the beginning of my new lifestyle of hospital regime and turning up at the right place as I'm told. I am no longer in control of the situation. The surgeon is very lovely (all the care team that I have encountered are). They are used to telling people awful news and then continuing to convey important information to the patient. They are clam and often will repeat themselves. I get it, it's a lot to take in. As a patient  I now must digest the information and follow instructions. My life is at risk.  My surgeon examines me and asks how the lump was found. I responded to say that my fella,...

I now knew that I had a form of breast cancer and it is also likely to be in my lymph nodes which meant that this alien was already on the move in my body. What I didn't know was how bad the situation was or the plan of action to tackle it.  9 days is a long time to let this information roll around your head. I did my best to keep focussed on the present. The areas where the biopsies were taken were black with bruising and rather tender. The muscles under my lymph nodes had been cut and this meant my strength was lost in this area which surprisingly affected some day to day activities, for example, I couldn't pull a cork from a bottle of wine and I certainly couldn't drive. Clearly, there were crisis moments to negotiate.  During that waiting period I didn't Google. I could have easily ended up in Cancer information hell, so instead just focussed on what I knew. I had negotiated with my head that I could cope with surgery and maybe some radiotherapy to fix this. I reall...

They say that you should look out for the extroverts during a pandemic as it is they who may suffer the most from the lockdown isolation. As a raging extrovert who generally thrives on human interaction I managed to cope quite well. I learnt to enjoy the small things in life, peppered with cake and champagne. Having regular connections with the Salesforce community and friends in a virtual format helped my need for connection too. During the pandemic I never knowingly caught Covid. I was careful. I thought I came out of this well. I was wrong. Warning, the following may contain TMI. If you have a partner they will sometimes give you that look to suggest that you have done something wrong. That's how it started. It was a Saturday and my fella, Piers gave me that look. He then went on to say that he thought he had felt something, a lump in my left breast. It then followed us getting into a position to find said lump. I couldn't feel anything at first, and then I did. A sense of d...